


What's The Use of Feeling, Blue?

by Rainbow_Transform



Series: Lancey-Lance and Blue [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: And Blue is basically a cub, And she is basically still a cub, And she was forced to basically grow up too fast, Because no one really thought that they'd need one more lion, Because she was made later than the other Lions, Black is a bit mean because she's making the hard choices, Gen, So Blue is the little sister, These are my headcannons don't hurt me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2018-12-14 14:03:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11784687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainbow_Transform/pseuds/Rainbow_Transform
Summary: The Blue Lion stops speaking.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Most of the things (like Blue being basically a cub and the other lions being made three years in advance) are my headcannons. It might be wrong, but it's what I think is going on.
> 
> Anyway, really bitter about some of the things that happened in Season 3. It's upsetting to me.
> 
> Enjoy the story.

_“I will take Red’s kit.”_ Black says, with reserved confidence. _“Red will take Blue’s.”_

_“No!”_ Blue cries. _“Lance is mine! You can’t do this!”  
_

The Black Lion seems to rise to the challenge.  _“I can. My cub told me and Red’s kit that Keith will pilot me. As that is, Red will take your Paladin.”_

_“No!”_ Blue howls. _“You cannot just make me have an entirely new bond with a person, an Altean, that has no flight experience. You cannot make me have a new bond!”  
_

Blue feels discomfort from the other lions. She feels anger from her big sister who is suddenly  _there_ , in front of her.

 

 _“You will do what is best for this team. You will take a different Paladin. You will allow her to have a bond with you. You will follow orders, Little Sister. You forgot who was made first.”_ Black snarls and Blue wants to scream.

 

Instead, she bows her head and takes a submissive pose. Black leaves her, closes herself off.

 

Blue does the same, before her sisters can ‘comfort’ her.

* * *

“Come on, Blue. It’s me. Lancey-Lance. Open up.”

 

Her heart is breaking.

 

“Enough goofing around. We’ve gotta go help the others.”

 

She doesn’t know if she can do it.

 

“Oh come on! Why are you being mad at me?”

 

She wants to drop everything and scoop up her Paladin.

 

“Do you hate me now?”

 

She wants to scream. 

 

He’s crawling toward her. “I’m sorry for wanting to pilot the Black Lion. It was just a phase.”

 

She wants to cry, she wants to drop her barrier. 

 

“Hey, Blue, you know what? I gattasay that’s a great color on you.”

 

Her heart is crumbling, into a million pieces.

 

“Oh, are you from outer space? Because your body is out of this world!”

 

Her heart is scattered across the galaxy.

 

“Lance? What’s wrong?” Her princess says, coming from behind Lance.

 

_Nothing. Leave, please._

“Blue’s shutting me out.”

 

She’s weeping as he talks. Pidge doesn’t understand her Lance like she does. He is meant to be a Paladin. He is.

 

The princess looks at her with hopeful eyes and Blue wants to scoop Lance up and fly away. Lance is hurting. Her Paladin is  _hurting_. And she can’t do anything about it.

 

Red roars, far off, and Blue sees her Lance walking away. Her heart is gone, just like before.

 

Her heart is scattered across galaxies. She doesn’t think she’ll be able to get it back.

* * *

She opens for Allura only because Black forces her to. She doesn’t have anything against the Princess, but she does not want her. She wants Lance. 

 

Her Paladin who’d never throw her against space debris; and hurt her. But, she grows use to Allura’s hand, but opens a temporary bond. She is not going to open a bond, not matter what Black says or does.

 

Allura uses her powers; and it takes a toll on Blue, especially when she was used to Lance, who understood her and waited and talked with her. Lance thought an idea, and they discussed it.

 

Allura does not do that. She wants things done her way. Red would have been a much better Lion for her. But instead, it’s Blue with an ill-tempered princess. Who doesn’t listen. 

 

But Blue grows use to what Allura wants. So, she allows Allura complete control. If Blue gets hurt or injured, it will be on Allura. Her sisters will blame her, even Yellow who was normally a non-blame Lion would blame Blue.

 

But, Allura thought she knew. So, Blue allowed her to show her knowledge.

* * *

Black flies close to Blue after the battle while they are going to the Castle.

 

 _“See? She’s a good Paladin.”_  Black says, proudly.

 

Blue doesn’t answer.

 

Black doesn’t hesitate.  _“Little Sister. Do not be foolish. You know what had to happen.”_

 

Blue says nothing.

 

Black growls before steering away.

* * *

_“Little Sister,”_  Yellow says after a week of silence. 

 

 _“Little Sister,”_  Yellow sends warmth and things that should make Blue happy to her. Yellow sends her pictures, snapshots of her and Black playing before they realized how big a burden leadership was for Black.

 

Blue, instead of speaking, sends Yellow snapshots and shaky videos from when Black fully accepted the leadership. How she’d did a complete 360, and suddenly demanded leadership from  _everyone_. Including month-old Blue herself, who just wanted to play. 

 

Her other sisters learned how to fit into the roles they’d been meant to. Blue herself hasn’t. 

 

She’d only been a month old. Red, Yellow, Green, and Black had three years to be cubs; to be babies. Blue only had a month with her sister. Then Black took things very seriously, and Blue was swept along even as a cub. Black demanded loyalty, respect. 

 

And they all gave it to her. Occasionally, Blue would catch a glimpse of the old Black. The one who’d play catch with her and fly with their Paladins. 

 

This Black Blue had gotten used to.

 

Didn’t mean she liked it.

* * *

_“Blue,”_  Green snapped.  _“It’s been weeks. It’s getting old. You’re acting like a cub again.”_

Blue said nothing. 

 

Green grew angry and closed herself off from Blue.

* * *

Black tried again, days later.

 

 _“Blue. Talk to me.”_  She commanded. 

 

Blue didn’t answer.

* * *

Green tried again weeks later.

 

 _“You’re such a brat!”_ She snarled when Blue didn’t answer her.

* * *

Yellow tried a couple days afterwards.

 

 _“Please, Little Sister.”_ Yellow pleaded.

 

Blue said nothing.

* * *

Black told Keith.

 

Black told  _Keith._

_Black_ told  _Keith._

_Black told Keith._

Keith told Allura. And Allura is now in Blue, trying to talk to her.

 

“I am your Paladin now. You can talk to me!” Allura is saying.

 

Blue doesn’t have anything against Allura. Yes, she’s Blue’s Paladin right now, but that doesn’t mean Blue needs to talk to her. Her being a Paladin doesn’t mean that she deserves to be spoken to by Blue. Blue will speak to her if need be. 

 

Other than that, Blue’s voice was gone with her heart.

* * *

Hunk strayed into Blue’s bay. He sat in front of Blue and she leaned down. 

 

“Hello.” Hunk says. He pats her and she tilts her head.

 

“Yellow says that you’re feeling down. Allura says that you won’t talk to her. It’s making her feel unwanted.”

 

 _Just like Lance feels unwanted? Just like I didn’t want to give up my Paladin?_ Blue thinks, but doesn’t say. 

 

“I don’t think Lance is happy with the arrangement either, Blue. But he’s still working with us. He seems pretty happy with Red.”

 

 _Maybe._  Blue agrees silently.  _But I’m not. And Lance is very good at hiding his emotions._

Hunk sighs. “Look, Blue. I don’t know what it feels like to lose a Paladin; I can’t imagine it. But you can’t blame Allura. And you can’t shut out the other lions.”

 

Blue lifts her head back up and turns around. She knows she can’t blame Allura. She doesn’t. She blames Black Lion. 

* * *

Red has stayed away from her for months on end when she took her Paladin. But she’s here, now, speaking to her.

 

_“He cries every night. I’ve been trying, but... Blue. How do you do it? How do you take these... broken Paladins and...”_

Blue flew across the room, slamming into the smaller lion. She growled, low in her throat, and Red flees. 

 

Blue thinks she scared her sister.

* * *

Pidge follows Red, after a few days.

 

“Green says that you’re different from the other lions. Green thinks that you always take the kids that grow up too fast, or are too broken and you try to fix them.”

 

Pidge leans back in the chair she’d brought in. She’s seems to be thinking for a moment and Blue is listening.

 

“But we’re all broken beyond repair. I’ve lost my family; Shiro’s got PTSD and wakes up screaming at night; Hunk is trying to be strong for everyone; and Keith only had Shiro and Shiro left. Lance... Lance has a huge family. Lance is Lance. He’s not broken beyond repair. He can be fixed with talking. And you chose him.” 

 

Blue doesn’t answer. Pidge leaves after a few minutes, expression fading into a neutral.

* * *

Red came into Blue’s bay again. 

 

 _“I know what it’s like losing a Paladin, Blue.”_  She starts. Blue wants to ram into her again.

 

 _“We all know what it’s like, Blue.”_ Red continues. She seems to want to try to connect with Blue, but she can’t.

 

_They don’t know. My Paladin is right there. But I’m suppose to give him up. Just like Red gives up Keith. We both fought tooth and nail, but as soon as Black brought out her big sister voice, Red backed off. I didn’t._

Red left after she’d realized Blue wasn’t speaking to her.

* * *

Coran wandered in and sat by her feet. 

 

“I know what it’s like.” He says suddenly. “And I know why you’re doing it.”

 

He turns around and stares at her. “I’m glad you’re doing it.”

 

He walks away.

* * *

Lance wanders in three months after Coran comes. He sits next to Blue, and she wants to roar. But she doesn’t. Because that requires her using her voice, and it’s gone with her heart.

 

But Lance is here. Lance, her heart, is here. But he isn’t. She can’t feel him, not like when he was piloting her.

* * *

Lance comes back to her two years later. She still hasn’t opened a permanent bond with Allura. They find Shiro, the  _real_  Shiro and Keith is all too happy to give up Black. 

 

Red is all too happy to boot Lance out of her and give him back to Blue.

 

Blue takes back her Paladin, and he’s shaky. He’s been with Red - fiery, unbroken, take-no-crap Red - and he’s scared now. But when he realizes that Blue is here, feels her icy cool, he sinks into it. After two years of heat, Blue doesn’t blame him.

 

She coos and purrs and nuzzles and keeps Lance close to her. She doesn’t want to let him go. It’s  _her_ Paladin. It’s her heart he had when they forced her to switch; it was her voice he took with him without knowing.

 

And now? Now, he’d returned, and with him, her heart and her voice.

* * *

Red is speaking, babbling about how even thought she’s got Keith back it isn’t a big deal.

 

They all fall silent as they hear a roar. Loud, and happy. And everyone flicks their eyes toward the Blue Lion’s bay. They haven’t heard her roar for years. 

 

She comes in a flurry of cold, into everyone’s minds. 

 

She’s so happy. Purring, and cooing, and being herself. Allura is surprised because Blue didn’t even act this way with her. Which had disregarded her entire motherly way that her father always said the Lion was.

 

Yes, Blue helped her throughout different ways, but it was never a Paladin-to-Lion bond.

 

But now Allura got to see the true Paladin and Lion bond. How the Blue Lion was really like, to her true Paladin. 

 

Allura thinks it’s nice.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate universe where Blue doesn't get Lance back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst. Death. Sadness. Help. Sob.

Lance never comes back to Blue.

 

There’s nothing else to say.

 

Blue doesn’t have her voice, or her heart.

 

It was probably for the best to not have them.

* * *

 

Allura is there, next to Blue. She turns to Blue, smile stretching ear-to-ear as she hears Shiro proclaim that perhaps Allura should keep Blue.

 

Lance protests, and Blue’s screaming in her head. (Allura’s not listening. Allura  _ never _ listens.)

 

“Let’s just see how it works out.” Shiro says holding up his hand to silence Lance. “Just for a couple weeks. Until I’m okay with Black again.” 

 

Lance shuts up.

 

Blue’s eyes glow angrily. But they mistake it for something else, and leave.

* * *

 

Red, Blue notices, is smug. Red is happy that she has her Paladin back. Blue doesn’t have hers, though. Blue keeps her mind shut tight against Allura. If she won’t listen to Blue, Blue won’t listen to her. 

 

Lance sneaks into her hanger when everyone is asleep. Blue slides down, slowly, and rests her head in her paws. Lance strokes her head, and Blue can see the tear tracks on his cheeks. 

 

“I’m sorry, Blue.” Lance says and Blue whines. It isn’t words, but Blue knows she’s broken her silence. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Lance chokes out again and Blue wants to cry, too. 

 

Lance gets up and walks away. Blue wants to cry after him, wants to scream for him. 

 

But she doesn’t.

 

Instead, she shuts down.

* * *

 

Blue, Red notices, is quiet. She isn’t speaking, but that’s normal. Blue is always there, humming quietly in the back of everyone’s mind. She doesn’t speak; but they know she’s there. But she isn’t here now.

 

Allura’s scream made Keith anxious. Red grows worried. Did something happen to Blue? Or Allura? Or Shiro? Keith? Hunk? Pidge? Coran?  _ Lance _ ? It’s a no to all of those things. Nothing happened to Blue, except shutting herself down. 

 

Red is into her sister’s hanger in an instant. Voltron Lions never shut down, unless… 

 

Oh.

 

_ Oh. _

 

Red knows why Blue shut down; but doesn’t understand quite yet.

* * *

 

Green comes soon after. She doesn’t seem surprised.

 

_ “I expected it.”  _ She sighs.  _ “Blue is always too soft for her Paladins.” _

 

Green knows, but Green doesn’t understand. She believes it is just for Lance.

 

It isn’t.

* * *

 

Yellow nears down near Blue. She nudged her sister and hums distressed noises.

 

_ “My sister,”  _ Yellow murmurs and nudged Blue again. 

 

_ “My sister, please.”  _ Yellow pushes her nose against Blue’s, expecting a nudge in return. Blue always returns her nudges. Blue loves Yellow’s nudges.

 

_ “Let her go, Yellow.”  _ Green says and Yellow whines.

 

_ “She’s not coming back.”  _ Red drawls and Yellow hums again.

 

Yellow understands, but doesn’t know.

* * *

 

None of them get it. They don’t understand.

 

“When has a Lion ever shut down?”

 

“Once! When they went into hiding!”

 

“Why is Blue shut down now?”

 

“Isn’t it obvious?” 

 

They all turn their gaze to Coran, who’s staring out the window, hands clasped together behind his back. 

 

“She’s upset.” Coran says softly. “Mourning.”

 

“Mourning what?” Pidge snaps.

 

“The loss.”

 

“Of what?” Shiro asks, coming by Coran. 

 

Coran turns and shrugs. “My guess? Her Paladin.”

* * *

 

They still don’t understand. They show Blue Allura, in the Blue Paladin’s outfit, but she doesn’t come back.

 

They cut Allura’s hair short; give her a complete makeover. 

 

Hunk stares and thinks that she looks like Lance.

 

Keith thinks that Blue won’t come back.

 

Shiro doesn’t think it will work.

 

Pidge… doesn’t think Blue will ever come back to them. 

 

(Lance feels an empty feeling in his chest. Like he’s missing something. He still goes to Blue’s hanger and sits next to her, talking.)

 

Blue comes back just weeks later. She powers up and stands, joints stiff and Allura’s joyful shout echoes through the halls. The Paladins burst into the room, eyes bright and mouths stretched ear-to-ear. 

 

The battles aren’t the same without Blue. (They can’t form Voltron.)

 

So when she comes back they’re all happy.

 

(Lance stops visiting.)

* * *

 

Blue is different, Allura notes. Her motherliness is gone, instead there’s only silence. She doesn’t seem to care if she crashes into planets or meteors. She seems to welcome them. Allura steers them away from the things in space and Blue doesn’t say anything.

 

Allura thinks that Blue is, as humans call it, “depressed.” 

 

She doesn’t know how to fix it.

* * *

 

Lance dies. 

 

Lance dies.

 

_ Lance  _ dies.

 

Lance  _ dies _ .

 

Blue mourns.

* * *

 

She is a different Lion now. Hard, cold. A perfect soldier. Just like Shiro wanted Lance to be; just like Allura wanted Lance to think like; just like Pidge hopes Lance wouldn’t be; just like Hunk thought Lance could never become. Just like Lance’s mother told him not to become when he went off to the Garrison.

 

Allura doesn’t seem to want her anymore. She’s nervous around Blue now, fingers twitching and eyes wide. 

 

Blue doesn’t care.

 

Her heart and voice have gone. Left her alone in this void. 

* * *

 

_ She remembers feeling her Paladin tap her force field and she drops it. She wants to meet her Paladin. She welcomes him (and his friends) with open arms and waits. Quietly, slowly, and then they start. _

* * *

 

_ She remembers watching Lance grow from this goofy good boy who loves everything - to a boy who tried to please everyone.  _

 

_ “Shiro is so cool! I should train harder to help him.” Lance says and Blue purrs in agreement. Not too hard, though, Blue tries to convey and Lance grins. “I won’t.” _

* * *

 

_ “Shiro doesn’t like me.” _

 

_ “Keith… thinks I’m dumb.” _

 

_ “Hunk… doesn’t want to hang out with me anymore.” _

 

_ “Pidge… doesn’t think I’m smart enough to help her.” _

* * *

 

_ “Don’t worry, Blue. I’ll be back! I promise.” _

 

_ “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” _

 

_ “Allura is so much better for you. Remember? She unlocked your powers, and even your special Voltron power.” _

 

_ “Guys, there’s someone here! Someone who shouldn’t be here!” _

 

_ “GUYS!” _

 

_ “Bl… u… e…” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really can't say anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Stop by my Tumblr (RainbowTransform) and say hey or ask some things about my stories. 
> 
> Until next time, my loyal readers! 
> 
> ^.^


End file.
